The 12th annual FiLM BiTCH Awards celebratingthe films of 2011.
Hero of the Year |
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"Arthur Christmas"
(James McAvoy & animators) ARTHUR CHRISTMAS |
"Captain America"
(Chris Evans) CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER |
"Carlos Gallindo"
(Demián Bichir) A BETTER LIFE |
"Cesar"
(Andy Serkis and animators) RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES |
"Joey"
(six beautiful equines) WAR HORSE |
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Blessed with:Extraordinary holiday spirit, global concern, and a handy gift-wrapping companion elf.Achilles heel:Clumsy. Not so tech-savvy.Triumph:saves Christmas and mends strained family bonds. |
Blessed with:Super everything: strength, purity, patriotism, agility, old fashioned modesty.Achilles heel:Unknown though he did need supersteroidsserum to get there.Triumph:Saves the world. Dethawed from huge block of ice. |
Blessed with:Honesty, patience, work ethic and big love for his son. Achilles heel:Way too trusting. Take the keys with you up that tree! Nooooo.Triumph:Not for himself but it was all for his son anyway. Giving him a shot at a better life. |
Blessed with:Intelligence, loyalty, love of big trees, sympathetic scientists. Achilles heel:He wants so much more he's practically a Disney heroine show-tuning it.Triumph:Escape to the Sequels of the Planet of the Apes. |
Blessed with:Loyalty, extraordinary luck, mad ploughing skills, and extremely photogenic.Achilles heel:Not so picky about who's riding him; you win some you lose some. Also barbed wire.Triumph:Thrilling escape + Touching reunion. |
Finalists: "Coltor Stevens" (Jake Gyllenhaal) inSource Code;“Aibileen,蚊子和米妮”——但他们必须share the heroics with all of the nameless characters inThe Help;"Moses" (John Boyega) inAttack the Block;The Monks inOf Gods and Men; Semi-Finalists: Thor (Chris Hemsworth) inThorand this one is dedicated to Harry, Ron & Hermione as their franchise ends. I was never a big Harry Potter fan and I don't believe in honoring franchises over and over again for the same achievements but there is no doubt that they left a mark on global imagination when it comes to super heroics. |
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Villain of the Year |
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"Bernie Rose"
(Albert Brooks) DRIVE |
"Jerry Dandrige"
(Colin Farrell) FRIGHT NIGHT |
"Kevin"
(Ezra Miller) WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN |
"Loki"
(Tom Hiddleston) THOR |
"Mayor"
(Ned Beatty & animators) RANGO |
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Guilty of:easy irritability, murder, shitty "European" movie making, and all around shady business practices;Accomplices:loud mouth Nino and other mobsters;Sentence:death in the shadows |
Guilty of:Mass murder, lust, trespassing, malevolent pranks, driving down real estate values;Accomplices:整个洞穴不死;Sentence:death. This time for good. |
Guilty of:mass murder, patricide, creative destruction of home offices, making his mother's life a living hell from birth;Accomplices:the bow and arrow;Sentence:Prison. |
Guilty of:deceit, tricks, war mongering and fraternal jealousies of mythic proportion;Accomplices: the frost giants, The Destroyer, and multiple images of himself;Sentence:Still at large. |
Guilty of:lies, abusing his office and trust of constituency, theft,Chinatownreferencing;Accomplices:Rattlesnake Jake;Sentence:Dragged off into the desert after one last double cross |
Finalists: "Dr. Ledgard" (Antonio Banderas) in The Skin I Live In; "Jack and Jill" in Puss in Boots; "Melancholia" in Melancholia;Semi-Finalists: "Martin Vanger" (Stellan Skarsgård) in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and "Margaret Thatcher" (Meryl Streep) in The Iron Lady though the film thinks of her as a hero for some reason. |
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Diva of the Year |
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"George Valentin"
(Jean Dujardin) THE ARTIST |
"Helen Harris"(Rose Byrne) BRIDESMAIDS |
"Mavis Gary"
(Charlize Theron) YOUNG ADULT |
"Suzanne Pujol"
(Catherine Deneuve) POTICHE |
"Thor"
(Chris Hemsworth) THOR |
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Turns ons:dancing, his own stardom, watching his own films, and Peppy Miller;Hobbies:dancing, posing, exuberant facial expression;Enablers: moviegoers, wealth, and definitely Uggie. Always Uggie;Turn offs:改变,失败,Talkies. |
Turns ons:Outdoing everyone else with her wealth, beauty, and knowledge;Hobbies:throwing parties, name dropping, gift-giving;Enablers: Lillian and her husband's bank account;Turn offs:Any of Annie's ideas. And, well, Annie. |
Turns ons:Buddy, her old boyfriend, Hello Kitty;Hobbies:sleeping, ignoring her dog, plotting, husband stealing, writing single sentences;Enablers: Matt (reluctantly) & Colette (whole-heartedly), alcohol;Turn offs:work, reality. |
Turns ons:umbrellas, business and politics, sex, old boyfriends;Hobbies:fixing problems, not-so hostile takeovers;Enablers: in a fun turn of events, her husband's mistress;Turn offs:being underestimated |
Turns ons:himself, Jane, godhood, and his hammer (everybody names theirs. His is Mjölnir);Hobbies:boasting, ordering people about;Enablers: Loki and Odin (at first) and the Warriors Three;Turn offs:Exile with sudden hammer-related impotence, Jotunheim |
| Finalists: "Justine" (Kirsten Dunst) inMelancholiacould've ruled this category -- who else can destroy the world with their terrible mood? -- if she could be bothered to get out of the bathtubSemi-Finalists: "Jacob Palmer" (Ryan Gosling) isCrazy StupidinLovewith himself; "Margaret Thatcher" (Meryl Streep) The Iron Lady is a diva all right. Well for half the film. Otherwise she's an old hallucinating woman;"Lisa" (Anna Paquin) isn't fabulous enough to be a true diva inMargaretbut she thinks of herself as the center of her universe anyway. | ||||
Sexpot of the Year |
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"Brandon"
(Michael Fassbender) SHAME |
"Eun-yi Li & Hoon Goh"
(Jeon de Yoen & Lee Jung-Jae) THE HOUSEMAID |
"Jacob Palmer"
(Ryan Gosling) CRAZY STUPID LOVE |
"Justine"
(Kirsten Dunst) MELANCHOLIA |
"Marilyn Monroe"
(Michelle Williams) MY WEEK WITH MARILYN |
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Oversexed but can you blame the roundrobin of partners? |
So horny they can't stop themselves. So hot that one of them self-immolates. |
"It's like you're photoshopped" |
Dunst's somnabulistic sex appeal hasn't been used this well sinceVirgin Suicides. |
What a task to inhabit the most famous sex symbol of all time. |
| Finalists: none Semi-Finalists: "Captain America" in Captain America... it's so hot when someone doesn't even know they're hot and Steve Rogers isn't used to thinking of himself that way; "Thor" (Chris Hemsworth) in Thor; "Britney S. Peirce"'s boobs are in 3D in Glee The Concert Movie; "Annika" (Dagmara Dominczyk) enjoys painting her husbands penis in Higher Ground and we loved her; |
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