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十二月 24 2019


byCláudio Alves

WithCatshorrifying audiences around the world, including possibly you, let's all step into a hot-air balloon and travel to the heavenly lands of speculation. You see, a screen adaptation of the silliest mega-musical in Andrew Lloyd Weber's repertoire (give or takeLove Never Dies要么Starlight Express) was already a dicey proposition, but it needn't be so doomed. But add to that the deranged incompetence of Tom Hooper and digital fur technology,and we have something for the pantheon of all-time bad movies.

What could have been done to avoid catastrophe? Many psychologically scarred movie-goers may be asking this question from the depths of the madness that now consumes them: Could this have been any different? Could it have been better? Could it have beengood,甚至?也许…

Here are three ways to fixCatsthat don't include visual effects patches.

Turn it into an animated feature
这一次似乎相当明显。有没有办法在地狱,作为猫的人都不会是什么,但笑诱导。在剧院里,它可以说是工作,但是这是由于艺术形式的特殊性。距离,物理和审美,就是其中之一。你不能有一个大屏幕适应,因为有特写镜头和屏幕的庞大规模来考虑。解决这一切的最好办法是让动画。这样做在风格猫不跳舞要么Zootopia。Those filmmakers at least managed to create anthropomorphized felines that aren't horrifying to behold.

Embrace the artifice
If you're dead-set on making it a live-action adaptation, one way to go about it is to fully embrace the artifice of the premise and setting. In the actual film, there's a lot of visual references to early cinema, including a poster for 1927'sThe Cat and the Canary。那岂不是一直乐趣,使旧好莱坞音乐制作与反自然工作室集和富有魅力的猫人拼凑?保险丝巴斯比伯克利与现代的感情,殷切感觉一记重拳,所有的狂乱的不涉及与光滑岔口种间杂种的神奇骗人的。换句话说,把这个给巴兹鲁曼代替汤姆胡珀。另外,在时间旅行,并有肯拉塞尔直接的horniest排列Catsthe human mind can conceive.

Make it more "theatrical"
Maybe the best way to bringCats大银幕是为了避免戏剧元素的切除。相反,使其成为电影中,使其更加阶段结合,与布莱希特的机制和精心制作的幻想。有没有必要去的极端狗镇but Joe Wright'sAnna Kareninacould be a good model to follow. Add a bit of Gaspar Noé'sClimaxand you're set for success. Such a thing might be worth seeing for its spectacle rather than for its wrong-headed grotesquerie.

Or, you know, don't make a movie out ofCats。Didn'tSix Degrees of Separation teach us anything about the absurdity of that folly?


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Reader Comments (11)

乔赖特做Anna Karenina, not Edgar. Also, I think an animated version would have been okay, or even do full stage theatrics like you suggested. As it stands it’s a film that I laughed at hysterically and kept dropping my mouth in shock of all the terrible filmmaking decisions. Oy vey!

十二月ember 24, 2019 |Unregistered CommenterKeelay!

Six Degrees of Separation was just on TV and making a bad movie version of CATS is a major plot point!

十二月ember 24, 2019 |Unregistered CommenterParanoid Android

Keelay! -- Thank you for catching the typo. I can't believe I reread this and didn't catch the silly mistake. Anyway, all the feedback is appreciated so, once more, thank you.

十二月ember 24, 2019 |Unregistered CommenterCláudio Alves

An animated version ofCatswould've worked but a version likeAnna Karenina? I don't think so. That was a terrible film.

I think Baz Luhrmann would've been a better choice to do a film version ofCats由于该剧是过度的顶部和疯狂的从我所听到的。

Sadly, Tom Hooper made it and it's shit. He's trying to save face by releasing an improved version. That's not going to work either as it's clear he and whatever young movie executive haven't learned the lessons of天堂之门

对于那些你们谁从未见过或听说过是崩溃天堂之门, you're in for a history lesson.

Here's a film made by an Academy Award-winning filmmaker who is given carte blanche to make his revisionist western about the Johnson Country Wars with an initial budget of nearly $12 million that was set for a Xmas 1979 release by United Artists. Instead, things went very bad due to egomania, radical casting decisions, cocaine, and all sorts of shit as it missed its Xmas '79 deadline and was pushed to Xmas '80. In November of 1980, the film premiered with a lot of bad buzz and press surrounding the film before its release. What happened was a disaster and after a one-week run in New York City, it got pulled from theaters where months of more editing came in as the film with its 219-minute running time was reduced to 149-minutes in re-release in April of 1981 where it did much worse.

As a result,天堂之门had a final budget of $44 million and only made $3.5 million as it would have United Artists be sold to MGM, ending the auteur-era of New Hollywood, and derailed the career of its filmmaker Michael Cimino.

十二月ember 24, 2019 |Unregistered Commenterthevoid99

An animated version is a terrific alternative to me. If someone develop that idea I would pay my ticket for watch that.


我知道我已经说过这个,但是我要坚持the design style of The Aristocats characters is perfect: the drawings are beautiful; the shapes, proportions and movements refer to a feline and they continue to look like cats even when they act, sing and dance like humans

2019年12月25日|Unregistered CommenterCésar Gaytán

Cesar: Agreed. There's ALWAYS going to be a place for anthros (when a vision of HELL exists that's filtered through an anthro character design sensibility...), but that's probably not the best angle for a Cats movie and I'd rather yours, which, incidentally, was also where Spielberg wanted it to go (significantly more stylized then what you mention, but not in an anthro way) when he was trying to produce it.

2019年12月25日|Unregistered CommenterVolvagia


2019年12月25日|Unregistered CommenterSonja

Feels nice knowing that Hooper has an Oscar instead of Fincher.

2019年12月25日|Unregistered CommenterAnon

An animated film that used rotoscoping for the dance sequences could've been very interesting. It would've given it an ethereal, otherworldly quality.

The fact is that Cats, the stage show, works because it is live. It is not a work that could just be plopped into a different medium basically as-is and expected to work. It needed to find the cinema equivalent to its theatricality. It would require smart adaptation and a real visionary director, which Tom Hooper is not. He is literal-minded and best suited for straightforward talky historical pieces with folks in drawing rooms.

十二月ember 26, 2019 |Unregistered CommenterAustin

correct on giving this to Baz

十二月ember 26, 2019 |Unregistered Commenterjason

I just saw it's more ridiculous than terrible- the dancing is specially good except when Tom Hooper goes crazy editing so we really can't enjoy it. Animation would have allowed the film to get away with some of it's more demented moments like the Busbey Berkley roaches scene. The original material was never that great to begin with- there are only a couple of good songs.

2019年12月28日|Unregistered CommenterJaragon